141+ Cool Funny statuses for Whatsapp status New

Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.

The only reason I am fat is that a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.

It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.

Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).

God is really creative, I mean…just look at me.

May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.

When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta. No one says I’m fantastic.

Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink, not a dead body.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.

That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.

Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?

I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.

Oh, So you wanna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

I am so poor that i can’t pay attention in class.

Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.

I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i’m God.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.

I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

Nothing is over until you stop trying.

Person you love is 72.8% water.

I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.

People say, you can’t live without love…I think oxygen is more important.

80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.

When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.

she’s so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says “Made in china”.

I drink to make other people interesting.

If at first, you don’t succeed..Keep flushing.

Save water drink beer.

Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

His story is History, My Story is Mystery.

Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.

I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.

That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.

How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.

Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

Whatever it is — I didn’t do it!

Sometimes you succeed…. and other times you learn.

There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side.

When there’s a will, I want to be in it.

Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status 

I’d rather have honest enemies than fake friends.

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck…

Hey there WhatsApp is using me.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

You can never buy Love….But still, you have to pay for it.

Totally available!! Please disturb me!!

“Success” all depends on the second letter.

Ab koun se mausam se koyi aas lagaye, Barsaat mein bhi yaad na jab unko hum aye.

Kya rog de gayi hai nye mousam ki barish,
Mujhe yaad aa rahe hain mujhe bhul jane wale

Let the rain wash away, All the pain of yesterday

In barishon se adab-e-mohobbat seekho faraz,
Agar yeh ruth bhi jayein to barasti bahut hain…

Kal raat barasti rahi sawan ki ghata bhi,
Aur hum bhi teri yaad mein dil khol ke roye

Tere na hone se zindagi me bus itni si kami rehti hai,
Main chahe lakh muskurau in ankho mein name rehti hai

Agar neend aa jaaye toh so bhi liyaa karo….
raaton ko jagney se mohabbat lota nahin karti…

Tumse bichrey to maloom hua k mout koi cheez h ghalib
Zindigi to woh thi jo hum teri mehfil mein guzaar aaye

Raat bhar jalta raha yeh dil usi ki yaad mein..
Samajh nhi aata dard pyar krne se hota hya yad krne se

Ye dil hi toh janta hain meri pak mohabbat ka aalam,
Ke mujhe jeenay ke liye sanso ki nahin teri zarurat hain

Wo Meri Rooh Ki Chaadar Mein Aake Chhup Gaya Aise…..
Ki Rooh Nikle To Wo Nikle Jo Wo Nikle To Rooh Nikle

Ik Sawaal ke Jawaab Par Itni Khamoshi kyun,
Itna Hi Poocha Tha , Kabhi Kisi Se Wafa Bhi Ki Hai?

Kaash Ye Mohabbat Khwab Si Hoti..
Bas Ankh Kholti Aur kissa Khatam…

Bahut roka tha is dil ko ki usse itni mohabbat na kar
Ab dard bhi saha nahi jata tere har baar na karne se…

Hum Hi Betaab Nahi Hain Dard-E-Judai Ki Kasam…!!!
Kabhi To Wo Bhi Royega Tanhai Mein Hamein Yaad Kar Ke

Tum Paas Ho To Khuda Se Aur Kya Maangu !
Meri Zindagi Ki Tamaam Hassratein Ho Tum.

I’m not SHORT, I am just concentrated AWESOME!

I smile …Because I don’t know WHAT THE HELL is going on.

My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.